Darkwing Duck The Movie Part 1

DARKWING DUCK - THE MOVIE
By Bill Hiers

Based on the original episode written by Tad Stones and the comic book by Disney Comics.

All characters are copyright Walt Disney, and this script is in no way intended to be used for any sort of monetary gain.

EXT. ST. CANARD - NIGHT

Est. Shot of the city skyline.

DARKWING (V.O.):
This is the burgeoning city of St. Canard. My city. Like any other major metropolis, it has its problems with the criminal element.

EXT. BANK - NIGHT

Est. Shot of a bank. Suddenly, the entire block is rocked by a huge explosion from inside the bank, and three criminals exit; a large pig, BOSSMAN, comes running out the front entrance with sacks of money in either hand, followed by two more CROOKS, each carrying a large sack slung over their shoulders. They quickly rush across the street where two more of their companions wait.

DARKWING (V.O.):
But St. Canard also has something most other cities don't…

BOSSMAN:
C'mon, you guys, hurry up. Hey, wait a sec, where's Crocker?!

Glancing around they notice that one of the two crooks that'd exited the bank with the Bossman is gone! Suddenly, he comes flying out of nowhere, bound and gagged, smacking into the Bossman and knocking him down.

BOSSMAN:
Crocker! Who did this to you?

CROCKER:
Mmmffft Bmmmppptfff!

BOSSMAN:
What is this? Some kinda joke?

He rips the gag off of Crocker, who howls in pain. Before the tied-up crook can answer, there is a sudden puff of purple smoke nearby.

CROCKER:
There he is!!!

DARKWING:
I am the terror that flaps in the night!

CROOK 1:
What's that, boss?!

Suddenly, a SECURITY GUARD, looking groggy and holding his head, staggers out of the smoking bank.

GUARD:
Stop! Help! Police! They robbed the bank!

BOSSMAN:
I dunno, but we're outta here!

The five criminals quickly turn and run around a corner, disappearing into an alleyway with Bossman carrying the still tied-up Crocker, as DARKWING DUCK, replete with purple wide-brimmed fedora, purple cape, and purple double-breasted suit emerges from the purple haze.

DARKWING:
You might as well give up, you slimy scourges! There's no use trying to escape! No one has a chance of getting away from… DARKWING DUCK!

A loud roar of engines emanates from within the alley, and Bossman comes shooting out on a motorcycle, quickly followed by the twins on their respective bikes, and finally a pickup truck with Crocker and the other crook in the cab; Crocker is riding shotgun, still tied-up.

DARKWING:
Well, maybe a SMALL chance…

He is forced to leap aside as the convoy comes flying past, turning and zooming off down the street.

DARKWING:
Mighty clever of them to have prearranged escape vehicles at the ready. But those creeps don't know who they're dealing with!

EXT. STREETS OF ST. CANARD - NIGHT

Darkwing runs and jumps onto a springy, abandoned mattress and vaults over a wooden fence. Moments later he comes blasting through said fence like it was balsa wood, riding on his trademark motorcycle sidecar, the Ratcatcher.

DARKWING:
Darkwing duck owns the night!

Big chase scene! Darkwing presses a green button on the handlebar, which causes his seat to spring upwards, launching him through the air. He lands in the bed of the pickup truck and quickly hops atop the cab, while the Ratcatcher amazingly continues to drive. Reaching in through the driver's side window, he grabs the steering wheel and turns it hard to the right, aiming the truck towards a telephone pole. Naturally, this is not done without some protest from the crook that's driving.

CROOK 1:
Hey! Let go!

He smacks Darkwing's hand away, regaining control of the truck and turning the wheel, avoiding a collision with the telephone pole. Darkwing reaches back inside, and the crook slaps his hand again. Thus begins a girlie-slapping contest between the two until, with a scowl, Darkwing finally just punches the guy in the face. Grabbing the wheel again, he turns it once more to the right, causing the truck to slam into a dumpster. The force of the impact sends both the driver and Crocker (who is STILL tied-up) through the windshield; they land in the dumpster, whose lid slams shut over them.

Darkwing, meanwhile, is also hurled forwards by the impact, but executes a graceful leap in midair and lands on his feet.

DARKWING:
Tsk-tsk-tsk. No seatbelts…

He then remembers the other three crooks, who have stopped to look back and see if their buddies are still behind them. Seeing that they're beyond help, they speed off just as the Ratcatcher arrives and skids to a halt alongside Darkwing. He hops aboard and the chase resumes.

Standing up in the seat, Darkwing pulls out his multi-purpose gas gun, firing a grappling hook that snags the back of Twin 1's motorcycle. Darkwing is suddenly yanked forwards and dragged along the pavement, as the Bossman suddenly doubles back and gets behind him, with the intention of running him over. Darkwing removes a manhole cover as he's dragged past it, causing Bossman's motorcycle to crash when the front tire hits the open sewer, demolishing the bike and sending him skidding on his butt.

BOSSMAN:
Whooooa! Ooof!

Darkwing then uses the manhole cover to defeat the remaining two crooks, bashing both twins upside the head with the manhole cover in turn, knocking senseless.

EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

All five defeated criminals are tied up and riding in the sidecar portion of the Ratcatcher. After giving them a scare by almost colliding with an oncoming truck, Darkwing screeches to a halt outside the police station. The abrupt stop sends the five hoodlums flying forwards and into the front doors of the police station.

INT. POLICE STATION - LOBBY

The criminals crash through the double doors of the police station's front entrance, startling OFFICERS on duty. The DESK SERGEANT peers down from his tall desk as Darkwing jumps atop the pile of unconscious crooks.

DARKWING:
Another order of dastardly delinquents deposited on your doorstep, courtesy of Darkwing Duck. That's two words, not three, both D's capitalized. Here's my card. And, as a special bonus, I'm throwing in this free 8X10 glossy photograph of yours truly, suitable for framing.

He hands the sergeant a card and a glossy black and white photograph of himself. Blinking in slight confusion, he accepts them. Darkwing then hops down as the criminals are taken away.

BOSSMAN:
You ain't seen the last of me, you puny purple peabrain! I'll get you for this!

DARKWING:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and if the newspapers need more pictures, you can reach me at the number on the back of the card. Now, I must be off.

He sniffs the air for dramatic effect. The assembled officers just stare at him and scratch their heads.

DARKWING:
The scent of crime is in the air! I must disappear back into the gloom!

EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

He throws open the double doors of the police station's entrance.

DARKWING:
Step aside! Requests for interviews must be referred to--

He stops short, suddenly noticing that the street outside the station is completely empty. A couple of newspapers fly past; Darkwing watches them flutter away.

DARKWING:
So where's the press?! I thought this was the age of media glut! Where's the Action News van when you need 'em? And I spent all afternoon ironing my costume and getting my hat reblocked!

Dejected, he hops onto the Ratcatcher.

DARKWING:
Oh, well. Comes the dawn and Darkwing Duck silently steals away to his secret refuge atop the city's threshold!

EXT. AUDUBON BAY BRIDGE - NIGHT

Est. Shot of the bridge. Darkwing on the Ratcatcher drives up one of the bridge cables to the tower.

INT. AUDUBON BAY BRIDGE - DARKWING TOWER

Entering the tower interior, he stops the motorcycle and gets off.

DARKWING:
Yes! Another night cleansed of its criminal element, thanks to… DARKWIIIING DUCK!

He yawns and stretches.

DARKWING:
I can't wait to hit the hay. Ah, but first a bit of… breakfast.

He walks into a portion of the tower that is made up to look like an ordinary (albeit large) household kitchen. Darkwing pauses alongside the dining table, bare except for an egg timer.

DARKWING:
Even at moments of quiet and relaxation, Darkwing Duck is ever alert and ready! And just to make sure he stays that way…

He activates the egg timer, causing a drawer across the room to slide open, flinging a knife, fork and spoon, followed by a plate, towards him. Darkwing catches the knife with one hand, the fork and spoon in the other; the plate he deftly catches in his teeth. Moving quickly, he places the eating utensils on the tabletop as a cabinet pops open, pouring nondescript cereal into a bowl mounted atop what appears to be a machine gun.

Darkwing grabs a bowl off the counter and catches the bits of cereal as they are fired rapidly at him, and the gun finally stops when its sugary ammo runs out. A double-barreled shotgun pops out of another cabinet, firing two raw eggs. Darkwing brings up a frying pan he grabbed from a utensil rack overhead, letting the eggs smack into the pan and crack open.

DARKWING:
I like my henfruit over hard!

Part of the floor slides away, revealing a pit that shoots huge gouts of flame. Darkwing holds the pan over the flames, cooking the eggs… then screams in pain because he isn't wearing an oven mitt. Toast shoots out of a toaster, hitting him on the head.

As a grand finale, the fridge is catapulted into the air by a springboard beneath it, and Darkwing just barely gets out of the way in time, and the fridge slams into the floor. Nothing else happens. Darkwing stands there looking extremely flustered and embarrassed despite the fact there's no one around to see how royally he screwed up. He goes to the table, picking up the still-ticking egg timer and turns it off, checking his performance time.

DARKWING:
Ah, um, well, yes! Another record-breaking performance!

He looks at the empty plate.

DARKWING:
Everything a champion needs for a wholesome, nutritious breakfast… except food. Aw, who am I kidding? I've really been slipping up lately. If I don't get a big break and fast, I'm gonna have to throw in the towel and consider a REAL job!

He violently shakes his head.

DARKWING:
No! Pish-posh, nonsense! So I make a mistake here and there. There's not a street punk in this entire city that's not afraid of Darkwing Duck!

He walks behind a divider, emerging on the opposite side wearing pajamas and a nightcap (not to mention still wearing his mask). He heads up a small flight of stairs to his bedroom, which consists merely of a bed and dresser. He flops onto the bed, exhausted.

DARKWING:
I just wish I could get a shot at a big-time criminal, a real, live, honest-to-goodness supervillain!

EXT. STREETS OF ST. CANARD - DAY

EXT. STREETS OF ST. CANARD - DAY

HAMMERHEAD HANNIGAN, a goat wearing a pinstriped suit, buys a copy of Action News from a vending machine. After taking a quick glance at the front page (during which we can see a teensy article way down in the corner about Darkwing's victory last night), he begins to walk down the street, unaware that he's being watched.

DEREK FELDSPAR of S.H.U.S.H. sits in his parked car nearby, watching Hammerhead's every move. Hammerhead hails a taxi.

EXT. WATERFALL - DAY

Hammerhead continues on foot along the riverbank, which is littered with garbage. He proceeds towards a waterfall and slips behind it and out of sight.

Blunt appears from behind a tree opposite the falls and watches Hammerhead disappear inside.

BLUNT:
So that's how he does it….

INT. CAVE TUNNEL - DAY

Behind the waterfall is a sizable cavern, and inside Hammerhead walks along leisurely, occasionally glancing over his shoulder, He reaches the end of the relatively short tunnel and waits.

A camera pops out of the wall, examines Hammerhead for a moment, then retracts back into the wall. A moment later, a section of the wall slides away, revealing a door. Hammerhead goes through this. As soon as he closes it behind him, the trick wall slides back into place.

INT. SECRET LAIR - OFFICE

TAURUS BULBA, a massive bull wearing a red business suit and tie, stands alongside his desk, arms crossed and tapping his foot impatiently. Two thugs, HOOF (a donkey) and MOUTH (a ram), stand nearby; a couple of bowtie-wearing bowery-boy bullies wearing straw hats. Hoof glances nervously over his shoulder at TANTALUS, a large non-anthropomorphic condor, who perches nearby.

CLOVIS, Bulba's blonde cow secretary, is busying herself at a filing cabinet as Hammerhead struts into the room, the newspaper tucked under his arm.

BULBA:
You're late.

HAMMERHEAD:
Sorry, boss. There was traffic and I couldn't persuade the cabbie to drive any faster.

BULBA:
Very well. Is that the newspaper I sent you to get?

HAMMERHEAD:
Yup.

BULBA:
Then why am I not reading it?

Without waiting for an answer, he snatches the paper from Hammerhead's hands. He grins as he sees the article on the front page.

BULBA:
Ah, just as I anticipated. Listen to this. 'Construction crews have just completed building Canard Tower, St. Canard's newest skyscraper. At 300 stories, it is the tallest and most modern office building in the while city!'

Bulba laughs evilly, tossing the paper aside onto the desktop.

BULBA:
And it'll be the perfect spot to mount the Ramrod for a superb firing position!

HAMMERHEAD:
Uh, yeah. Ya know boss; I was meanin' to ask ya...

BULBA:
Yes?

HAMMERHEAD:
Me and the boys, we were wonderin' if we couldn't wait till the train stops before we grab the Ramrod...

BULBA:
Hammerhead, I'm about to commit the crime of the century, and all you can think about is being too afraid to catch a blasted train! How many times to I have to explain this to you before it penetrates your thick skull?

A klaxon alarm begins blaring and a red light affixed to the wall above the door begins flashing on and off.

BULBA:
Now what?

CLOVIS:
It's the perimeter alarm. He was followed.

BULBA:
Just what I need.

Going to his desk, Bulba presses a button, The desktop flips up and a small bank of TV monitors with complimentary control panel rises into view. The monitors come to life, all revealing alternate angles of the tunnel, although there is no sign of an intruder. Suddenly they hear the muffled sound of gunfire coming from behind the steel door that marks the entrance into the lair proper. Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth, guns drawn, take up positions around it. Hammerhead looks at Bulba, who nods, and then he opens the door, some smoke pouring into the lair, but there's no sign of Blunt. Suddenly, Blunt swings down from the ceiling, kicking Hammerhead and knocking him back into Hoof and Mouth. All three thugs crash to the floor, dazed.

Blunt then hops down and casually strolls past the bodies, walking towards Bulba and Clovis who are backing away towards Bulba's desk.

BLUNT
Only Taurus Bulba's finest could be so clumsy and stupid! Well, well, well. Taurus Bulba. It's been a long time. Nice hideout you have here. A little bit on the dank side, however.

BULBA
I suggest you leave, Blunt, before you get into trouble.

BLUNT
I doubt it.

He pulls a gun and points it at them.

BLUNT
Now, start talking. What sort of mad scheme are you up to this time, you butcher?

Clovis steps between Blunt and her boss.

CLOVIS
If this is a business call, Mr. Blunt, then you'll need to make an appointment.

BLUNT
I'll remember that for next time.

CLOVIS
No, Mr. Blunt, I'm afraid there isn't going to be a next time.

She suddenly takes off the gold necklace she's wearing, and it unfurls into a seven-foot whip. She slings it, wrapping it around the gun and yanking it from Blunt's grasp. He gasps, and then she slings the whip again, shredding his tuxedo. Bulba smirks, then calmly walks over and picks him up by the scruff as Hammerhead and the other two begin to recover nearby.

BULBA
Thank you, Clovis. Now, then, Mr. Blunt, I think it's time you met my lovelies.

He steps on a switch on the floor, causing a trapdoor to open, and without any more ado, drops the thoroughly flabbergasted S.H.U.S.H. agent down into the dark pit. He takes his foot off the pedal, and the trapdoor snaps shut.

INT. SECRET LAIR - PIT OF DOOM

Blunt lands in a large underground chamber, with solid concrete walls all around. Getting slowly to his feet, he suddenly hears snarling and snapping noises, followed by an alien chittering/squeaking, whirling around and reacting to something O.S.

BLUNT:
No! No! S-Stay back! Keep away from me! Aahhhhh!!!!

Whatever it is, it's enough to make the trained agent let loose of a scream of horror. Numerous shadows descend on the terrified Blunt.

INT. SECRET LAIR - OFFICE

Back inside the lair, Bulba and his cronies observe Blunt's grisly demise (we hear it, but don't actually see it - can't go scaring the kiddies) on the monitors amidst much more snapping and snarling noises. Bulba gets a red marker and draws a big 'X' on Blunt's picture in big scrapbook titled 'PAINS IN THE BUTT' before setting it back down on his desk.

BULBA:
A blessing in disguise if I do say so myself. My poor pets haven't eaten in a good long while. Now then, where was I?

CLOVIS:
The crime of the century.

BULBA:
Oh, yes. Thank you, Clovis.

Bulba seizes Hammerhead by the throat, yanking him up to eye level.

BULBA:
Now you listen to me, you halfwit. This is the first time the Ramrod has been moved since Professor Waddlemeyer's death. Once S.H.U.S.H. has it, my chances of getting it are exceptionally slim because they're going to dismantle it. You're going to do what I'm paying you to do; I will NOT let it slip through my hands again because you and your friends are too scared to catch a train!

HAMMERHEAD:
Ack! B-boss! Ugh! My windpipe!

Bulba drops him, and Hammerhead lands on the floor at his feet, coughing, gasping, and loosening his necktie and shirt collar.

BULBA:
And after THIS little incident, I would prefer to have the Ramrod in my possession before the next S.H.U.S.H. agent comes calling. Do I make myself clear?

HAMMERHEAD:
Y-yeah, c-c-crystal clear, b-b-boss!

BULBA:
Good. Now, go. You know what to do. Do not come back without the Ramrod!

Gulping nervously, Hammerhead stands, adjusting his tie and collar, then motions for Hoof and Mouth to follow and the three of them exit the office.

EXT. AUDUBON BAY BRIDGE - NIGHT

Darkwing sits on the ledge outside of one of the tower's many windows, scanning the nighttime metropolis with a pair of binoculars. He is, as usual, talking to himself out loud.

DARKWING:
As twilight shadows creep across the sky, the lone figure of Darkwing Duck scans the city for any evidence of wrongdoing! And there is none! I think I'm TOO dangerous and cunning for my own good, since it seems as though I've busted every crook and lowlife in this burg… unless they're all at some evildoers' convention.

Suddenly, Tantalus flies past, startling Darkwing, who lowers the binoculars and glances around himself anxiously.

DARKWING:
Did I detect a slight breeze? Perhaps I should alert the weather service.

Looking through the binoculars again, he finally spots Tantalus, who is clutching the handle of what appears to be a large steamer trunk in his talons.

DARKWING:
Ah, but that will have to wait. Here's something that might merit my attention. My eagle eyes detect an-- an eagle? Er, I mean a condor! Yes! A condor! Wait a second… A condor? At this time of the year? In St. Canard? Carrying luggage?

He notices that Tantalus is apparently also wearing something around his neck and lowers the spyglasses yet again, a perplexed look on his face.

DARKWING:
A rare bird like this flapping around St. Canard is a mystery worth investigating! And who better to get to the bottom of this feathery intrigue than… Darkwing Duck! Let's get dangerous! Hmm, I like the sound of that. I'll have to remember it for when somebody's actually around to hear it!

He dashes back inside. Moments later, he comes flying down the bridge cable on the Ratcatcher.

EXT. STREETS OF ST. CANARD - NIGHT

Soon Darkwing is zooming through the city streets, keeping a close watch on Tantalus flying above.

DARKWING:
Speeding through the empty streets of the sleeping metropolis, Darkwing Duck's steely gaze remaining fixed on his prey, all the while taking in everything around him, missing-- Nothing????!!!!

He suddenly he finds himself speeding towards a head-on collision with a large truck. Both vehicles swerve to miss one another, the truck almost tipping over. Angrily, the truck driver leans out of the cab to yell at Darkwing, shaking his fist.

TRUCK DRIVER:
Hey, look out you moron! What do think own the night or somethin'?!!

DARKWING:
Phew! A narrow escape for the duck with the cape!

Darkwing continues on his way as he follows Tantalus past the city and into the countryside, towards the mountains.

DARKWING:
The night does not end at the city's edge, and Darkwing Duck knows no boundaries in his quest to expunge evil!

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT

Hammerhead, Hoof and Mouth stand on a bridge that spans the railroad tracks, leaning over the edge and waiting. Hoof and Mouth look extremely nervous. Hammerhead is wearing what appear to be a pair of wireless headphones with a little microphone attached.

HAMMERHEAD:
Okay guys, just remember where we parked the van. Now, ya know the plan right? I mean, all my detailed explanations ain't gonna be in vain are they?

HOOF:
Don't worry Hammerhead.

MOUTH:
Yeah, we know what to do. I ain't scared!

A train whistle sounds nearby, and the train itself appears from around a behind and begins to speed towards the overpass.

HAMMERHEAD:
Good, 'cause you're up!

MOUTH:
Me?! Couldn't we have just bought a ticket?!!

As the train passes beneath the bridge, Hammerhead grabs Mouth and dangles him over the edge, finally releasing him.

EXT. ABOARD THE TRAIN - NIGHT

He lands safely with a thump on the roof of the train car. Hammerhead and Hoof jump down after him a couple of seconds later. Working quickly, the three thugs scurry across the roofs of the train cars, making their way to the next-to-last car.

Several armed brutes in S.H.U.S.H. security personnel uniforms stand inside the caboose, looking extremely bored.

GUARD 1:
Boy, what dull duty!

GUARD 2:
Easy for you to say. Trains always make me seasick.

Suddenly, the door pops open and Hammerhead tosses in a gas bomb, then closes the door again.

GUARD 1:
Huh?

GUARD 2:
Gas attack! Break out your masks!

But it's too late. The gas is quick, rendering all of the guards unconscious before they have a chance to put on their gas masks. Watching through the porthole in the door, Hammerhead smiles, then turns to Hoof and Mouth.

HAMMERHEAD:
Okay now, you two sit tight 'n' keep a lookout!

Hammerhead finds the door to the adjoining car held tightly shut by a massive deadbolt. Smirking, unimpressed, he rears back and slams his head into it, breaking the door open inward with effortless ease. Peering inside, he sees a massive shape covered with a white sheet.

HAMMERHEAD:
Wow, the boss sure likes his toys big. This peashooter better be worth all this trouble. Now then, where's that stupid bird at?

He climbs to the roof of the car, and begins scanning the skies. Suddenly, the steamer trunk drops seemingly from nowhere, landing behind Hammerhead and scaring him so badly he almost topples off the train!

HAMMERHEAD:
You lousy pigeon!

BULBA:
(Through the headphones)
Hammerhead! Quit playing around! Is the Ramrod still in one piece?

Hammerhead looks up and we see that what Tantalus is wearing around his neck is actually a camera. Rather than tire his wings out trying to keep pace with the train, the condor alights on the roof of the caboose, facing Hammerhead.

HAMMERHEAD:
Don't worry, boss! She ain't got a scratch on her!

BULBA:
(Through the headphones)
Splendid. Then proceed with phase two!

Hammerhead fiddles with the trunk for a minute, moving it into place. He produces a little remote control device and presses a button. It transforms, little 'legs' gripping the roof of the boxcar and sprouting a pair of wings and jet thrusters.

Meanwhile, Darkwing has caught up to the train and is coming up behind it. Driving on the tracks has resulted in a very bumpy ride.

DARKWING:
(Very shakily)
I-I-I've been w-w-wanting to d-d-do this ever since I s-s-saw The P-P-Perils of P-P-Poulette!

He climbs aboard the train, still shaking. The Ratcatcher, as before, drives off on its own. Just when we begin to think the motorcycle has a mind of its own or something similarly ludicrous, we see that Darkwing has pre-programmed it via a small remote control that he swiftly returns to his pocket.

DARKWING:
Whew, I gotta see about getting some new shock absorbers. Either that or quit driving on the railroad tracks. Now then, let's see what there is to see!

Darkwing approaches the rear door of the caboose and peers inside. There is a slight greenish haze from the gas, and he immediately takes notice of all the unconscious S.H.U.S.H. guards laying about on the floor of the caboose's interior.

DARKWING:
Hmm, these guys look like S.H.U.S.H. elite. Not only that, but they've all been exposed to powerful knockout gas. At least, I HOPE it just knocked them out. Something tells me that something sinister has stolen aboard this particular train.

His gaze shifts from the S.H.U.S.H. guards, and through the window of the opposite door he spots Hoof and Mouth. Darkwing's concern for the unconscious guards quickly turns to barely contained excitement.

DARKWING:
It's Hoof and Mouth! Whoa, this just keeps getting better and better!! This is it! Finally, my shot at big-time crime busting!

Hoof and Mouth are both armed with assault rifles, which they are twirling around fancily, showing off in a very macho fashion. A sudden cloud of purple smoke interrupts their fun and Darkwing's disembodied voice.

DARKWING:
I am the terror that flaps in the night!

Startled, Mouth accidentally lets go of his rifle in mid-twirl, smacking Hoof in the face with it.

HOOF:
Ow!

MOUTH:
What's that? What's that?

The smoke clears and Darkwing suddenly appears before the two thugs, cape fluttering majestically.

DARKWING:
I am the switch that derails your train! I am--

He's cut off as his entrance has the desired effect upon the villains… and then some. Hoof and Mouth bring their guns up and open fire on Darkwing. When the smoke from their fire vanishes, Darkwing is nowhere to be seen.

Up on the roof of the adjoining boxcar, Hammerhead hears the gunfire and runs over, looking down at Hoof and Mouth.

HAMMERHEAD:
What in the heck is goin' on down there?!

MOUTH:
(Ignoring Hammerhead)
Did we get 'im? Did we get 'im?

Darkwing appears behind them and bashes them both over the head simultaneously with his fists, causing them to drop their guns and go cross-eyed, quickly collapsing to the floor in dazed heaps. Darkwing hops atop their backs, posing dramatically.

DARKWING:
Sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen. I'm fine. But you two are taking a turn for the worse!

HAMMERHEAD:
Eat lead, duck!

Bullets ricochet off the guardrails right next to Darkwing, as Hammerhead fires on him with a pistol from above. With a yelp, Darkwing hops off of Hoof and Mouth and, in his eagerness to escape, runs to the door of the caboose and opens it, rushing inside and slamming the door shut after him. He finds himself standing amongst all the comatose S.H.U.S.H. guards and suddenly begins to sweat.

DARKWING:
Oh, right. The gas…

Hammerhead climbs down from the roof of the boxcar as Hoof and Mouth groggily get to their feet. He grins and sticks his pistol back into his concealed weapons holster, adjusting his suit.

HAMMERHEAD:
So much for that duck, huh boys? But just to be extra sure…

Reaching down, he pulls out the chain that links the two train cars. The bulk of the train begins to speed away, leaving the detached caboose behind. Darkwing then emerges from inside the caboose, eyes bulging and cheeks puffed, obviously holding his breath. He exhales, then inhales deeply, coughing.

DARKWING:
Ah, luckily, I wasn't the champion of the high school swimming team for nothing!

HAMMERHEAD:
(Calling over)
So long, duck! You're way outta your league! Better run along to your costume party!

MOUTH:
You really got a flair for repartee, Hammerhead!

DARKWING:
Darkwing Duck will not be mocked! Little do the fleeing fiends suspect that the shadowy specter of suspense was ready to grapple with any situation!

Darkwing takes out his gas gun and fires a grappling cable, which hooks onto the back of the retreating boxcar. Unaware of this, the thugs detach the car from the rest of the train as well, and Hammerhead presses another button on his remote control. The jet thrusters on the device attached to the roof activate and the boxcar is soon airborne, pulling a screaming Darkwing behind it.

Still hanging around in the general vicinity, Tantalus takes note of this undesired development and swoops down, using his beak to bite Darkwing's grappling line. With the line connecting him to the flying boxcar severed, Darkwing promptly plummets to earth.